Since searching for, funding, etc. a house by myself and in the process talking to others about their experiences and paying more attention to who amongst my friends are homeowners, I have realized a few things when it comes to single homeowners.
It seems as though my single guy friends with houses buy with the thought that someday they will get into a relationship and the woman will move in with him. So, they purchase larger homes often in the ‘burbs unless they are pretty wealthy and get a place close-in. My single girlfriends who buy are all in their late 30s or early 40s and they purchase small homes close-in. Most have come to the conclusion that they won’t find a relationship and they buy the home for themselves.
My girlfriends who are older and still hopeful tend to be renters thinking they will find a relationship and move in with the guy or get a house together. Some are still saving for that perfect large marital home outside the city where they will sit and wait for Mr. Right to help them fill 3,000 square feet of space and share the $2,000 mortgage. When I tell them about my house they say things like, “When you get in a relationship it will be tough to share such a small bathroom.” Or, “When you get in a relationship he probably won’t like that paint color.”
I will admit, when I decided to look for a house it was only after realizing that there was a possibility of me being single forever and I couldn’t sit around and wait for a relationship to happen. With the lack of quality and character of single men and the unreal expectations they have of women, I have pretty much given up. And that meant it was time to move on with my life…single.
I did not purchase the home with the idea that a man may or may not be in my life at some point. I purchased it assuming I may ne single for the rest of my life. As lonely as that sounds, it isn’t so bad once you come to terms with it. It is liberating, actually, because now I can really move on and just be.
Cutie left today. I didn’t get to see him before he left but I sent him a nice text. I have a feeling that now that I’m not an option for fucking, this is the end of that friendship. Which makes me a little sad but I’m not surprised. That’s how people are anymore. They take everything they can get from you and then throw you away like a piece of trash when they can’t squeeze out anything else from you. Sad world we live in, isn’t it?
So, I closed on the house and got the keys. Had some work done on it while I packed up my apartment, and moved in on Friday. I spent the weekend cleaning, organizing, and unpacking. I had a houseguest which I thought would be a pain but it turned out fine. It was my Original FWB who was back in town and needed a place to crash. It was a little awkward and yeah we had sex once which I regret. But it had been awhile and I convinced myself that I needed it. I didn’t.
The funny thong about suddenly owning my own house — I say suddenly because one day I thought it would be a good idea and then I did it — is that I feel like such an adult now. I am having a tough time dealing with the dating shenanigans and the issues that all these men bring to the table. I feel like it is going to just be me and this little house for a long time. It is hard to explain.
Cutie leaves this week and I won’t see him before he leaves. I’m OK with that but admit that he is taking a lottle piece of my heart with him.
I received an email from a long ago lover last week who may be taking a job locally. That will never work. More shenanigans.
I almost met a really neat guy from OKCupid but decided not to when he revealed that he and his ex-wife still live in the same house. I have my shit together; why would I ever date someone who doesn’t?
The new job is going OK. It requires more than I’ve been able to give over the past couple of weeks. Luckily my boss is empathetic. I have to clean the apartment this week and then my life will get back to normal. I have three social events this week plus a badly needed mani/pedi. It will be nice to do something with some girlfriends that doesn’t involve a cardboard box and stress eating.
It is difficult to post much these days. I am so incredibly busy! I am still waiting to close on my house. The bad news is that it’s taking forever but the good news is that my awesome mortgage broker is, well, awesome! My “situation” is that the deal I struck with the sellers ended up paying all of my closing costs plus some and that is an issue since they don’t know what to do with the leftover money now. The lenders used to keep it but that is illegal now. So, I wait but at least I’m being rewarded for my patience.
My dog was injured but he is quickly on the mend, thank god. He is a terrible patient!
The new job is going well. It has been three weeks. Time flies! I am hoping to bring in my first deal next week which would make me look like a rockstar and net me more than $10,000 which I could really use at the moment being housepoor and all.
I heard from the last guy that I dated who was a hick. Sniffing around, clearly. Cutie and I still communicate but we both have other things going on. The sex stuff is sort of unimportant right now. My Original FWB and I are still friends, nothing more and nothing less. Otherwise, no dates for me. Right now I am totally okay with that.
Lot’s of awesomeness happening in my life right now. The bad news is that I have put on some weight. I gotta put a kabash on that one! Now!