Things are starting to look up.

I’m making an effort on the diet and fitness front. I’m not perfect, but things are moving in the right direction.

Even though I’m PMSing and stressing out (and have a huge zit!) and eating everything that doesn’t run away from me, at least it’s all healthy food. I generally eat a processed-food, grain, and sugar-free diet with very little dairy. The exception is on days when I run an hour or more and the odd event where I try to be flexible. I do eat fruit, but minimally.

Things begin to go awry when I’m depressed. I will stop by the store and purchase other things, like a loaf of really good bread for dinner. Maybe some ice cream. Or Kettle Chips with good french onion dip. Etc., ,etc., etc. When I sleep too much and get blah, I don’t have the time (um, make the time anyway) or the energy to cook or plan meals, which means skipping breakfast and getting take-out for lunch. When I eat bad I have difficult work outs which makes me not want to work out. Also, if I’m not working out a lot and getting up early (which means going to bed early) I tend to instead spend time with a few friends who are not health-conscious which means we go to happy hours and eat the delicious sodium/carb/bad fat laden foods. Can we say vicious cycle?

I managed to get up early once this week to go for a run before work and today for a group run. Which is shitty except for the fact that it’s the first time I’ve done it in months. I slept in too late on most other days this this week and felt like shit all day from a sleep hangover, but managed to walk a few miles with the dog after work. Ironically on the weekday I woke up early and ran a few miles, despite getting just six hours of sleep I felt like a million bucks all day and was more efficient than ever at work. Today I woke-up at 6am and got tons of shit accomplished in addition to my run. Funny how that works. Tomorrow I try a CrossFit class.

Work is going well.

Yesterday I received a call from a local firm that has been courting me for awhile. They said they were writing an offer letter to me next week. I never thought it would happen and unless the amount of money is a lot more than what I’m making now, I probably won’t take it. Same job with some added responsibilities, similar firm, etc. We’ll see . . .

I’m weaning myself off of Cutie and my Original FWB is back to friend status. Also, in regards to dating . . .

Even though he remains a FWB and a friend, I’m trying to get away from the daily texting, etc. Not that I’m not texting him back when I hear from him, but I’m not initiating. I don’t feel the same intense feelings for him that I did at one time. After he left our “thing” for a relationship with another woman I placed him on a pedestal. Now that he’s back, he’s not as perfect as my mind led me to believe. My Original FWB is back to friend status and I’m OK with that. I’m not interested and if I had to speculate, I’d say he’s not either.

My final online date of 2012 takes place on Wednesday. I starting talking to him prior to writing off dating and he seems nice enough and I don’t want to blow him off. It should be uneventful, disappointing, and depressing. I also want to amend this rule. If I should meet someone out and about, I will date him. I mean, he’ll be into me if he asks me out once he’s seen me and talked to me in person. It’s the online dating I’m not doing for the rest of 2012. The liklihood of meeting someone to date in 2012 at the age of 37 is unlikely. So, whatever.

I’m finding that by focusing on other things, I’m rarely thinking about any men, let alone dating and relationships. I know this, and it’s why I stayed so busy after I left The Ex. Maintaining it is the hard part, but I must in order to reach my goals, protect myself, and be happy and healthy.

I haven’t bought any clothing.

The weekends are a tough time as I live close to several different shopping opportunities. I did see some things I would have loved to have had but I did not purchase anything. I’ve realized that I have expensive taste and I need to temper that. I also need to be better about my budget. Gaining and losing weight, then gaining, and losing again, is an expensive habit. I always envy my friends with large wardrobes built up over years when they are able to maintain their size. Must be nice.


2 thoughts on “Progress

  1. I’m so pleased about how much more positive you sound. Even though you’re not doing the online dating stuff I do hope you keep on blogging as I’m really enjoying reading about your life!

  2. 37 isn’t that old, girl. You need to keep working on your self image because when you feel sexy you will give off a different vibe. I think your plan to eat healthy and exercise is great. I hope it helps you to feel better about yourself. You don’t have to be at your ideal weight to be sexy, though. Weaning yourself off of the fwb thing is going to help, too. Being with a dude who mainly just wants you for sex has damaged your self confidence. You have way more to offer than that.

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