Well, I got what I wanted

I decided to have a one-nighter last night. Now, I know this isn’t usually my style, but every since Cutie got in touch, all I’ve thought about was sex and it was killing me. OK, a bit on the mellow-dramatic side . . . I was out to get laid and that was my plan so one of the guys who contacted me at AFF was going to get lucky. The first one I thought was hot, could put together a coherent sentence, and didn’t creep me out was tagged “it” and my mind was made up. I took a shower and washed away the cobwebs then I was off. Well, first I had a date with someone else . . .

I was meeting the guy who texted me from OK Cupid after I turned off my profile. I didn’t really want to but he obviously thought enough of me to get in touch even though I was gone, or at least he thought enough of the online me. And, I’ve given up on internet dating anyway. But, he was a really nice guy, smart, and kinda cute so I thought I’d do it. What’s one more frustrating and wasted evening, right?

We met at a bar and tried a flight of rum together, which was kinda fun. He was a little shy and sweet and I think I dominated the conversation. There were some awkward silences, but not too bad. I don’t think he liked me, but he walked me to my car anyway and threw out the obligatory, “This was fun, we should do it again sometime” and I said I’d like that and that he should call me. Whatever. I don’t know why men do that. Just say “Thanks, I had a nice time and it was great to meet you.” If you’re not going to call again, why even throw that out there? Nice guy, cute, smart, sweet, who I will probably never hear from again. Another exchange between two people that meant absolutely nothing. After our hug good-bye I was on the phone with my conquest and on my way to meet him at a Starbucks.

The conquest was sexy and totally not my type. I fucked him anyway and while it wasn’t what I’d hoped it would be, it scratched an itch. I definitely know I’m not cut out for the meet and fuck way of doing things and I do need a connection which I didn’t have with this guy. It made me miss Cutie or at least what we had. This was not a loving, caring situation and he was not really that interested in my pleasure and frankly I didn’t care about his either. After I got off I only wanted him to hurry up and finish. I’m not interested in seeing him again. Obviously.

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6 thoughts on “Well, I got what I wanted

  1. Woo hoo! I like your frank style so much, and as for going for what you want when you want…I love it! It’s high time for us ladies to also grab what we want and keep moving if we so please.

  2. So… as someone who has never done anything like what you’ve described, I’m insanely intrigued. Like, do you go into it with the usual getting-to-know-you talk like you would a date? Is it friendly at all or do you immediately get down to business? What if you had met him, and upon seeing him in person, was completely unattracted to him? Could you bow out at that point? Sorry for all the questions – I’m completely fascinated.

    • First, you’re going into this knowing that it’s about sex, so no one needs to pretend to be coy. Like online dating, you get all of the basics out on the table via email. Personally, unless someone has a specific kink they want to experience I don’t really talk about sex beyond the bare basics because there’s no point if you’re not attracted, comfortable or feel any type of chemistry in person.

      I always tell the guy that I don’t sleep with someone on our first meeting. I don’t want to deal with the awkwardness of making that decision in front of him and I don’t want there to be pressure (this does not guarantee the guy won’t pressure you, but it helps!). Also, since I would prefer a FWB situation versus a one-night stand it allows us both to think it through. If you meet up with a guy in this way, he will probably sleep with you even if he doesn’t really want to because you are there and willing and that’s not what I’m looking for.

      In the case of this guy, I knew going into it that if I found him attractive, I would sleep with him. So, when he asked if after meeting we clicked, would I go back to his place, I said I wasn’t sure, but it was a possibility. That was my out but still allowed him to do what he needed to do to prepare.

      I meet up with someone over coffee or a drink and we chat about ourselves, life, etc. Yes, just like a first meeting with a blind date. Sometimes it veers off toward sex and sometimes it does not. Sometimes the guy wants to know what you like, etc. and that is usually not something I’m game to talk about during this time. I’d rather save it for after the meeting when we’ve determined our compatibility or let nature take it’s course.

      After spending an hour or so chatting we go our seperate ways and then I allow him to call me if he is interested in meeting and then we make plans which may or may not involve dinner or drinks. Sometimes it’s just going to someone’s place to get it on!

      • Very interesting – thanks for filling me in. I’m pretty sure I’m not strong enough for a relationship that’s sex-only, but I’ve considered it and definitely appreciate hearing from someone who has been there.

  3. Pingback: My itch got wiped out | 36 and Single

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