Odd

I’ve been playing phonetag with a guy from Match.com for a couple days and we finally had the chance to connect at lunch today. At first it was small-talk and then he got a little bit deep and asked me what I would do for work if I had my dream job. He proceeded to then tell me about books I should read and then told me what he thought he knew about me based on what little he really knows. Things like my relationships with my family. I can’t say he was 100% wrong but he wasn’t 100% right. I was a little taken aback. Part of me was like, “Who does this guy think he is?” Mostly it was discomfort of being exposed without my permission.

I won’t give you every detail of the conversation, but I will say that he’s highly intelligent, he’s funny, and he’s quite the joker. But he has no filter. Most of the conversation was pleasant, but he did manage to tell me that his ex-wife was dumber than a box of rocks and that he learned the hard way that beauty fades but stupidity doesn’t. He also thanked me for adding a body image to my online dating profile. Then he went into detail about how he’s not looking for someone with a perfect body but he certainly doesn’t want to have to reach through fat rolls or something like that. And, finally, he was a little too forward about some things that I would think should come up later. He’d told me via email that he was “fixed” and I can see why, but during the phone call he told me about how he wants his relationship to have plenty of intimacy and he asked me if I was a passionate woman. I was taken aback and answered that of course I would say yes, as would any woman, but you really have to get to know someone and discover that on your own because what people say and who they are can be quite different. Talk about too much too soon!

I don’t know that I want to see him. He made me uncomfortable. I can appreciate his straightforward nature, however. I will have to think about it. Meanwhile I have meetings on Sunday and Tuesday with a couple new guys that I’ve been chatting with on Match.com.

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10 thoughts on “Odd

  1. Do yourself a huge favor and don’t bother meeting this one. Think about it: he’s putting his BEST foot forward right now, it’s all downhill from here.

    On the other hand, we will enjoy reading abour your horrible date with him. LOL

  2. Yeaaah don’t meet him… He shouldn’t be asking those types of questions right away… While it’s good to be up front, you still have to have a filter…

  3. Rather than looking for reasons to reject a guy, look for reasons to accept him. Hell, it’s only a date, not a relationship.

    While you are the gatekeeper of sexuality, men are the gatekeepers of commitment.

    • Two of the big things I am looking for are kindness and emotional availability. This man is not kind and if he is still speaking of his ex-wife, the mother of his child, in this way (to a stranger, no less) he is not emotionally available. I found that is he is seperated, not divorced, so this split is somewhat new. This all makes sense. When I stopped talking about my ex in a hateful way I was also over it and ready to move on.

  4. I dated a guy without a filter that I met in Home Depot. I was shocked by some of the things he thought appropriate to say so soon after meeting but I kept an open mind (sort of) and went out with him quite a few times, even slept with him. I kind of thought the no filter thing would grow on me and that I would learn to deal with it because like you said I appreciated the straight forward thing. It didn’t grow on me, but what did happen is that I learned he actually WAS filtering himself initially. As he got more comfortable with me he REALLY lost what little filter he thought he had and I found out he was a straight up jerk. Go with your instincts.

  5. Eek. No. Listen to your inner voice, if he makes you uncomfortable do not continue. Life is tricky enough without dealing with someone with no social skills.

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