I work with a woman who is big. She is uncomfortable big, not just a little chubby. She has stretch marks on her wrists. I think she is in her early 30s. I am not friends with this woman, we are merely coworkers who don’t even work together very often. She seems nice enough even though she is a little on the quiet side and seems to be lacking confidence. Anyway, I was sitting next to her in a long, boring meeting on a sunny Friday afternoon and in between tangents and other meeting talk, I looked at her and I thought, “Why would a person waste their youth, their life, like this?” Now, I know I’m making broad assumptions here. I don’t know her situation. So, my thoughts don’t necessarily involve her, she was just the unfortunate catalyst for this post.
I am at an age where I feel my youth, perhaps my beauty, fading. I look back at my 20s, even my early 30s, and realize I wasted so much time unhappy with my body, unhealthy, being depressed over a boy, being in a relationship that wasn’t good, and waiting until I was thinner, happier, richer, in a better/different relationship to do the things I really wanted to do. I’m making up for lost time, certainly, but I know I took my youth for granted.
Being young, fresh, healthy, and beautiful is a gift. Before you know it, you will be trying to fix your old-looking hands, considering Botox for your crows feet, unhappy with your sagging breasts, and regretting the things you did to your body for years while you never fully realized the repercussions. This is if you are lucky. There are far worse things to experience that, sadly, people my age do go through.
Though I have some regrets and often find myself wishing to do it all over again, and this time do it right, I have had some amazing human experiences. I think I’m quite lucky in life as I have travelled, I have had meaningful relationships, I have been loved and have been in love, I have made a good living, and I have friends and family who mean the world to me. I’m incrediby fortunate. But, I can’t help but look back from time-to-time and wish I had done things different.
I know that in ten years I will probably say the same thing and wish to be in my 30s again just like today I wish to be in my 20s. My mom, who is in her 60s, tells me she would do anything to be 40 again while I dread it like the plague. I know my time for youthfulness is quickly coming to an end and I’m fighting it tooth and nail! I have made a pledge to stop wasting my life with bad health, a negative attitude, or on people who don’t really care about me. I want every day and every moment to count. I know that I will have setbacks but I will forge ahead and make this life everything I wish it to be during whatever time is left for me.
My advice to you? Not that you’ve asked for it . . . Stop waiting until tomorrow to make improvements that you can make today. If you are unhappy with your body or health, fix it. If you are unhappy with your job, fix it. If you are unhappy with your relationship, fix it. It won’t be comfortable and it won’t be easy. But trust me, you won’t regret it.