Runner and I met for dinner last night at a lovely Peruvian restaurant. I had a feeling that this was going to be the date where he offers to cook for me at his place (aka, get in my pants) and I wasn’t ready for that. While I did shave my legs before the date and I wore matching underwear, I also told him I had to be downtown for work that evening (lie) so that hopefully I would guide him into just meeting there. During dinner he told me that he was going to ask me to come to his place for dinner but didn’t think I was ready for that yet, and since I was going to be downtown anyway . . . Can you tell I’ve been dating for a long time or what? I skirted the issue and the conversation.
We were a little more playful than normal over dinner even though I was really tired and he seemed to be as well. After dinner he walked me to my car and we spent a lot of time kissing and flirting. He’s a good kisser. We were totally exposed on a busy street-corner but I was really lost in the moment.
He travels quite a bit over the next few weeks and asked to see me again before he leaves this weekend. I’m going to say yes and I have a feeling sex is going to be involved this time.
The honeymoon is over with Cutie, it seems. Either that or I’m going through a phase. He’s been busy with work as it’s high-season for his industry. He makes an effort, I know that. But, there’s just something about being wanted for blowjobs and pussy versus liking me as a human being and having an interest in me besides fucking. I won’t hear from him for a day or two and then I’ll get a text about him being horny and wanting my lips around his cock. I don’t want a relationship, but a nice, “Hey, how are you? How was your weekend?” before diving into the sex talk would be a bigger turn-on for me.
I don’t know why it bugs me so much. Is it because it’s too easy? Is it because I don’t want to feel used? Is it because I’m a woman? Or am I being emotional? Either way, I just haven’t been answering Cutie’s texts because I don’t know what to say to him right now and it’s easier to avoid it all together. I think he’s been clued in on the fact that I have feelings for him, but that’s just a hunch I have. We seem to both talk in circles at times when we’re together.