Runner and I met at the movie theater on Friday night, along with every tween girl within 10 miles of the place. He was sweet to me, such a gentleman. There was no talking or touching, just some occasional looks when something weird or funny happened. After the movie he asked if I wanted to get something to eat and since I was starving I said yes. We walked to a few restaurants nearby and he let me pick. We closed the place down . . . again. The conversation is never dry or belabored. Though it’s not deep, either. I think it’s just right for two people getting to know one another.
When we were kicked out of the restaurant he walked me to my car. I had forgotten my coat at work so he insisted on placing his on my shoulders while he froze during our long trek through the parking lot. Once we arrived at my car, we started to say our good-nights (always awkward!) and before I was able to take his jacket off and give it to him, he grabbed the lapels and gently pulled me closer for a kiss. It wasn’t a big, sloppy “I want to fuck you right now” kiss, but a sweet and semi-sexy kiss. About 20 minutes later I received a very sweet good-night text from him and in the morning an email about how much we seemed to have in common and how much he was enjoying getting to know me. It almost felt like a sales pitch. Nonetheless, it was a very nice note.
He is well aware of my want to take things slow and let it develop naturally. He seems to respect my wishes and tries not to smother me, even though he wants to see me or reach out more often. I appreciate him wanting to abide by my wishes and taking my feelings into account. I’m trying not to be too aloof or too unavailable. I’m just trying to be me but not seem uninterested. I am interested, I just need to take things slowly.
I didn’t sleep well on Friday night even though I got home super late. I was up early the next day working out, running errands, and just trying to get things done. I met a guy that I’d been chatting with on OKCupid. He was really nice but his emails were really long. He seemed smart, kind, normal, so I thought I’d give it a chance. We met for lunch and he was really awkward. He was not as attractive as in his photos. And, the thing that I liked the least about him was that he had bug eyes. He always look surprised or crazy. His voice was shaky and he seemed really nervous the entire time. Conversation was OK but uninteresting. I was tired. He walked me to my car and we hugged good-bye. He emailed me this morning to ask me out again. I’m going to have to tell him no.
After I came home, exhausted, I decided to walk the dog who I’ve been neglecting a little over the past week with my work and social schedule. While on my walk, Cutie texted me. He ended up coming over at 8:00. He stayed the night and we had sex for hours then woke each other up three times during the night for more. I feel like a zombie. I’ve never had such great sex in my life. It’s not that his technique is that much better than anyone else’s, but our relationship is so open and honest. There is a comfort level there that is amazing. We have chemistry, but not the instant kind that knocks you off your feet – this is more authentic (or something). After my break-up with the Ex and I was spending a lot of time with my BFF, we’d talk about what we were looking for, or not looking for, and I remember once telling her that my ideal relationship would be as easy as our friendship. We would both be able to be ourselves, there would be no games, if one of us became upset with the other person it wouldn’t be a big deal, we’d trust each other, we wouldn’t judge one another, and we’d laugh a lot. I also wanted a relationship where I didn’t feel blinded by love, one where I could see clearly, something that developed over time. Clearly, Cutie is not my best friend, but things are shaping up to be easy and wonderful, like I wanted in a mate. Which is both good and bad.
My BFF says I have the best of both worlds right now. I have a man I’m dating who I go out with and is very nice and sweet to me, who wants to get to know me outside the bedroom and take things from there. And I have great, uncomplicated sex with a guy I have incredible chemistry with, plus a unique closeness that I haven’t shared with anyone before. I know I’m jumping ahead a bit, but I’m afraid that this might end up in an uncomfortable situation where I have to have conversations I don’t want to have. Or where I have to choose and the one I want won’t want me back. I’m going to try to have fun with this and let things happen, let the cards fall wherever they may.
I had two additional dates this weekend but I can’t do it. I need some alone time, sleep, and have a lot to do. So, I postponed.