I don’t even know what to call this post.
Life has been good, maybe a little dull as of late, even though I’ve been busy. But that’s a good thing as far as I’m concerned. If there is no mail in my box and my phone doesn’t beep or ring all day, I’m happy. Weird, I know. But sometimes it’s nice just to “be”.
AFF has been crazy as of late, but I haven’t met anyone new. Sometimes I get to talking with someone and realize I don’t want to meet them. There are men who contact me who are really good-looking and kinda douchebaggy. I think that maybe they are just fashionably aware and I should give them the benefit of the doubt? Afterall, they are super attractive. It always turns out the same in the end and I lose interest. There’s only so much we can talk about when they have nothing going on besides work (usually in an industry that takes no real intelligence, just good sales and people skills, and you can make lots of money – like real estate), going to the gym, tanning, happy hour/clubbing, shopping, watching television, getting some sort of cosmetic procedure, and girls. No passion in life, no wittiness, just a really good-looking but empty shell. Blech!
I did see Cutie last week for an amazing fuck session. He got a Viagra prescription that we’re using recreationally. It’s a lot of fun. I have to be honest with you, little blog, I’m not entirely comfortable with my relationships with Cutie and my original FWB as of late. We have sex and always have a great time talking afterward, but I hate that our relationships are only in the bedroom. Why not go to dinner, talk it out, then go fuck, talk a little more, then go? The insecure side of my thinks that maybe they don’t want to be seen in public with me. I know that’s slightly ridiculous, but sometimes it feels like it’s on the downlow for some reason or another when it doesn’t really have to be as we are all single adults. My past relationships like this usually involved a meal or something similar at least half the time, so this is different to me. I don’t think I need to address this with my original FWB as things are sort-of stuck in the mud with us. But I feel the need to bring it up with Cutie. I’m just not sure how without looking like a) I want a relationship, b) I’m insecure, or c) I’m creating drama. I do know that he’d want to know if I were feeling any misgivings and I do know that I need to be true to myself and do what feels right. I also know that I’m PMSing so I need to wait until that has passed before bringing anything up.