I know, I’m fickle. One minute I’m complaining about the lack of man meat in my life and the next minute, like now, I’m complaining because they won’t leave me alone. There is a happy medium but sometimes you’re above or below that and while one is frustrating, the other is annoying.

On top of that, the ones I want to see, I don’t get to see enough. The ones I’m not that excited about are all over me. I’m attracted to men with their own lives and don’t like guys who are needy or desperate. It’s not about being hard to get, it’s about appreciating a guy who works hard, had friends, and does more with his time than watch television or play video games. Sadly, this is hard to find these days.

The awkward guy from Tuesday night texted me at 9pm last night, inviting me to come over to his house. He has a new house in a fancy part of town on a golf course, so I think he’s trying to show it off. Little does he know, I’m not impressed by McMansions in the ‘burbs. Anyway, if he actually listened to anything I had to say during our 2+ hour conversation over dinner just a few days ago, he would know texting me at 9pm to get together is a huge no-no. When I told him as such, he claimed he enjoyed my company and just wanted to hang out, casual, didn’t expect anything, and I could sleep in one of his many extra bedrooms with their own bathroom (oh, brother). Said no, had plans in the morning. He begged a little (see, annoying!). Then he had the audacity to ask me to skip my morning plans so I could spend time with him instead. I’m still trying to figure out of this guy is awkward or desperate. He could be either. But I’m pretty sure I’m not going to see him again. The schedule thing is a bit touchy, and I’m upfront about it. Like Cutie or my original FWB, I want to be supported, not told to cancel. I want someone, even if he’s just a casual relationship, to understand. Which is another reason I tend to value those with busy schedules, hobbies, and such.

The guy from last weekend called to ask me out for a proper date. I’m booked this weekend and told him so. And, I’m not sure I want to see him again. He’s super sweet, nice, busy, kind, polite, but I’m not sure I’m physically attracted to him. There’s nothing bad about him, I just don’t know if it’s there. So, I’m going to think about it.

I’m 100% as far as AFF men go, meaning that every man I’ve met asks to see me again. That number is much higher than it was on Match or OKCupid. It has my wondering if it’s because I’m 30 lbs thinner (and with that, more confident and happier); because if I like them I’m probably going to put out right away (and they are privvy to my sexual thoughts, ideals, desires, etc. since they are highlighted in my ad on AFF); if they like me but just don’t want a relationship with me for some reason or another; or if it’s a combination of all of these things. If I had the time, or really the want, I’d throw myself back on Match just to see how I fared this time around. On the other hand, I see a lot of frustration in that, because internet dating is simply unnatural and there is too much choice (click that link, it’s a great read!), which leaves people searching for “the best” which they often never find, or they think they do (because they think they know the person) and are let down when they find out that perfect person was not exactly what was written in his or her profile.

OK, tangent!

So, I declined both dates for the weekend and will be running, spending time with my BFF (who is still in boyfriend land so it should be awkward between us to say the least), taking my dog for a hike, cleaning my apartment, maybe seeing my parents (free home-cooked meal!), and watching a movie or two in the luxury of my own home in my pjs.


3 thoughts on “Annoying

  1. I think you are pretty together. I enjoy reading your blog because some of the things you say I feel 100% and am just realizing it. I am 45! You’re way ahead of my curve. I could have written your second paragraph word for word. Don’t go back to Match. If you are feeling more confident about you, it shows. The energy is there. Internet dating IS awkward. Give yourself the opportunity to put that energy out there the “old fashioned” way and see what happens. You’re not in any hurry, not really looking for a relationship, live a busy life and have plenty of men to meet your sexual needs. Take the time, see what happens. Thanks for pointing me towards AFF. Who knew there were so many cute, nice guys in Portland who just want to have sex with me. 🙂

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