At a cross roads

On Sunday I saw Cutie again.  He came over, things heated up, and we had sex.  And, it left me realizing that sex with a stranger is not that great.  He definitely had some moves and he was hung like a small pony, which is great and all, but when we were done it was kinda like, “OK, that was great!  Gotta go!” 

With my FWB, we had spent more time together and talking before having sex for the first time, and if there is one thing my FWB can do, it’s talk.  Over time, we’ve become more affectionate, and recently he started sleeping over at my place.  We also talk about non-sex related issues and he calls me to talk about these things as well, like a friend. 

I guess I’m comparing apples to oranges here.  It takes time to build a relationship and with some it comes easier than with others.  I have to remember, there was a time when my FWB kinda irritated the piss out of me and I wasn’t all that thrilled with him sexually.  He still can irritate, but now I think it’s cute, and the sex has gotten better, usually.

My dilemma is that I did not join AFF to bed several men or sleep with strangers all the time.  I did it to find a new, or another, FWB.  I’m guessing that the “tryouts” will have me sleeping around until I find someone I’m compatible with.  I’m not completely comfortable with that. 

I didn’t know there would be so many attractive, sexy, intelligent, professional men on AFF who also found me attractive, sexy and intelligent.  I thought this would be another debacle where one in 25 men were fuck-worthy, and not many of them found me desireable anyway. 

So, I’m not sure what to do.  All of the men I’ve met so far want to get together with me and the Cutie has followed up, wanting more.  I receive several emails every day from men on AFF.  I can be very picky because they are like flies on shit (gross analogy, I realize), so I have plenty to choose from.

If anyone has any words of advice on how to manage this without feeling overwhelmed or morally debilited, I would love to hear from you.


5 thoughts on “At a cross roads

  1. I guess the big question is, how many FWBs are you looking for? I mean, why can’t it be FWB and Cutie? Are you looking for the best possible lover? How on earth do you even determine that?

    I really like your blog. It feels cathartic reading it. I shared it with a friend of mine and she thought you were me, like I was posting this blog in secret. Heh.

    • Hi and thanks for the comment.

      I don’t know how many FWBs I am looking for. I guess I’ll know when I know? In a perfect world, there would be one. FWBs never last though. They get girlfriends or move away for a job, or they get busy or maybe you just lose interest in each other. It’s sort-of a revolving door. The fact that my FWB and I have been doing this for eight months is like some kind of a record, I think.

      A good lover, a friend, someone who is available, someone I like as a human being, someone who makes me laugh. It has to be easy, no-pressure, no committment, respectful, and fun. Finding a hot guy with a great dick is easy, finding someone decent is the hard part, and probably the most important part.

      That’s funny your friend thought I was you. : )

  2. Thanks with respect to my blog, it is cathartic for me. Sometimes I’m ashamed of some of the things I’m thinking, feeling, doing, but that’s the point to get it out there and look at it.

    I think you’re right about the questions. Best possible lover? Sounds good, but you’re right, how would I ever know. I signed up at AFF just to look around. The email is a bit overwhelming — I had 18 email before I even put a picture up. WTF is that about? I figured, because I’m use to Match, that I had to pay to even read the emails, much less respond, but apparently that’s not the case.

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