It’s been awhile since my last post. I’ve been feeling a little blah. I hadn’t been running. Work’s been busy. It was the weather. However, the sun came out and put a spring back in my step, so I’m happy to say that I’m feeling pretty good. Oh, and I have lots of stuff to tell you!
First, I got back out on the road last week and today had a magnificent run. I finally tackled this mother-fucking hill that I’ve been walking over the past six months. I haven’t done much running since October, but I’ve been doing my strength work, my physical therapy and my home exercises for strengthening the muscles you’re supposed to use while running. It’s working. I felt great and when I topped that hill, I threw my hands in the air, just like when you cross the finishing line in a race. It made my day! Plus, I’m losing weight again. Yay!
Second, things have gotten weird with my FWB. We’ve been talking more, communicating more, getting together more. We only get together for sex, we spend a few hours together and only 30 minutes is dedicated to kissing or fucking Anyway, things have been different. He was going to be on my side of town so offered to meet. Well, he kinda stood me up, but really it was this big misunderstanding because at first I said I didn’t think I could. It was all texted and people didn’t get texts. Long story . . . I was irritated, though not irate, and he was apologetic. I probably would have needed a couple days to cool off, but since it wasn’t like him, it wasn’t that big of a deal.
However, later that day I received flowers at my office with a sweet card. My first thought was . . . ugh. I really like my FWB and he is the type of guy I would date. But I’m not in that place right now. And I don’t think he is either. I waited a few hours to call and thank him, mostly because I was super busy and I wanted to call, not text, and there were people around at the office. I didn’t want to have a conversation about the flowers, so I decided not to, and figured if something needed to be said he would say it. And, after we talked, I decided he was just being sweet and that he wasn’t in love with me. So, it wasn’t weird afterall. But, it also still was surprising.
He ended up coming over late last night after a work-related function and for the first time since we started seeing each other, he stayed the night. I haven’t stayed the night at his place either. I was OK with it, because it was on a weekend. I cannot sleep with someone next to me, and have Ambien left over from when I was in a relationship, since I needed it in order to get sleep about 75% of the time. He slept, I didn’t, and then we had sex this morning and he laid in bed with me for a couple hours afterward.
Things have changed, but I’ve decided to just be myself, go with the flow and just enjoy it. I’m not going to over-think it or worry about it. If he’s into me, he’ll let me know, and then we’ll have our talk, but until then, this is really nice. It feels natural and comfortable. We’ve been doing this for over six months, so I suppose it should be. If I were to have a relationship, it would be like this. We don’t fight, we talk, we listen, it’s just nice. But then again, if it were a relationship, there would be relationship stress and it would probably not be this easy.