I answered an ad in Craigslist for a FWB the other day and met him over the weekend. I learned two lessons:
- Don’t forget to talk on the phone first to determine whether or not they understand the English language and to find out if they are an asshole.
- Ask for a photo where they are smiling and you can see their teeth.
Lessons learned . . . and we’ll leave it at that.
Ironically my FWB and I have seen each other three times over the past month. Three times! That’s a record.
I’m so tired of the online dating thing. I’m just not sure it’s for me. At least not right now. One can only take so much disappointment, right? I kind-of like the old fashioned way of getting to know someone over time and determining whether or not you like them versus deciding in an hour if there is chemistry. It’s unnatural.
In fact, I threw one of my “temper tantrums” yesterday. I was looking at all the emails in my OK Cupid account from men who persued then disappeared, men who I hadn’t yet met and who I wasn’t all that excited about, and men I’d met and then (crickets). Spending all that time emailing, texting and otherwise communicating, then spending an hour or more in person sizing each other up, then . . . nothing. It just seems disrespectful. At the very least, we should all receive feedback. So, I decided t put that thought in motion and email every single person. My emails went something like this:
- It was nice chatting with you online. I’m not really interested in dating right now. Take care.
- It was nice meeting you two weeks ago. I wanted to thank you for the coffee and let you know that I’m not intersted in persuing anything further, and suspect you feel the same. Have a nice holiday.
- I hope this finds you well. I enjoyed spending time with you last month. I probably would have gone out with you had you asked. Closure is a good thing. Take care.
Might I seem crazy, bitter, angry, annoyed? Don’t care. I had to get it off my chest. I did not receive any notable replies. And with that, my OK Cupid account is now closed as well.
I just don’t need it right now. Instead, I need to focus on my job and the job search (I’m being head-hunted right now so might as well go with it). If I get a new job, I will move as I will not commute. I’m considering moving back to Seattle if the right job were to come along.
I need to focus on my fitness goals. It’s all coming along, slowly but surely. I have a half marathon in six months and several other races in 2012 to prepare for. I’d rather be amazing and single than walk to the finish with my boyfriend.
I need to focus on my best friend who is having one hell of a hard time right now with her family.
I need to focus on what’s going to happen with The Ex come December when he’s supposed to get our house of my name. We don’t communicate, so who knows what’s going on there. His girlfriend who may or may not live in my house is a financial mess so she can’t help him and I don’t know if he can do it on his own.
And, finally, I need to focus on just getting through the dark, wet, dreary, depressing Oregon weather.
So where does this leave me with dating? I’m taking a break from it is all. I will be back, maybe in the Spring. Maybe sooner. I’ve been feeling a little anxious about the future. I can’t imagine being single at 70. But I guess I have a long way to go, no sense in worrying about it now. Right?