Lazy pussies

I’m so sick of receiving texts from potential dates that I’m thinking of getting rid of my texting service.  Actually, I’ll probably keep it but when handing out my phone number I will mention that I don’t have texting capabilities because my phone is broken (and not because I’m technically challenged).

Either way, I have started to “train” my potential dates in regards to the texting thing.  With one guy I casually mentioned that I “hated texting” so he was pretty good about texting only when appropriate.  I was supposed to meet someone on Sunday and truth is, I would have met up with him instead of cancelling like I’ve been doing all week because I got a little bored anyway.  But, he texted me on Sunday afternoon and I just decided to ignore it because when you’re 40 you just don’t ask someone out on a date via text.  He never followed up with a call, so I assumed he was either lazy and not into me enough to bother or he was a pussy.  Either way, no thanks.  On Monday morning I told him I just received the text, I’m not a big texter, and he should’ve just picked up the phone and called me.  I added a : ) so it didn’t come across as bitchy.  He said we should try for another time.  I will wait for his call . . . and I won’t hold my breath. 

This texting thing . . . it’s really juvenille if you think about it.  And, what a waste of time and energy.  Just pick up the fucking phone.  Guys, is it really that much worse to be rejected over the phone than via text?  Well, guess what?  When you’re a texting fool at 40 years old I just assume you are equally as immature in other aspects of your life.  My best friend is also a texting fool and allows these men to text, text, text her 24/7 and guess what?  All the guys she dates are douche bags who only want a piece of ass, have crappy jobs, get shit-faced with their buddies every other day, play video games whenever possible, spend all their money credit on toys, go tanning, and try to look like they are 21 when they are really 40.  Usually, they’ve got a few girls going at any given time.  Any correlation here?  Probably.

So, when it comes to texting, let’s outline when and what should be texted during any given relationship phase:

Before You’ve Even Met (online dating):

Probably no texting with exception to something along the lines of, “Hey, I’m here, I found a booth near the door.  I’m wearing a blue shirt.  See you in a few. : )”

After Your First Meeting (online dating):

“I had a great time.  Let me know you made it home OK.” (especially if it’s late or the weather is poor or if you were drinking)

“Let me know if 9:30 is too late to call you tonight.” (this call should be asking her out for a date) 

“I’m running five minutes late.  Sorry!”

“Got here early, the parking is bad but try the garage on 2nd and Main.  See you in a few. : )”

After Your First Date:

Do not text to tell someone there will not be a second date!  At this stage, an email is OK or just do it over the phone.

See above.

After Your Second Date:

See above.

After Your Third Date:

See above.

Let’s Assume You’re Dating Regularly:

See above, plus . . .

“Hope you’re having a great day!”

OK, Now Let’s Assume You’re Screwing Regularly:

Yeah, can’t type that here . . . plus see above.

You’re in a Committed Relationship:

Pretty much whatever you want, but each person has a preference.  Entire conversations?  Not my style.  Things like, “Do we need milk?” or “Here are the show times, pick one.” work for me.

Girls, are you with me?

Guys, what’s the deal?



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