So, I went out on an official first date with this guy last night and even though we spent seven hours talking, which felt more like two or three, I’m thinking it’s not going anywhere.
He started off by telling me that he felt a cold coming on an he did look tired. That could have been part of it. But, I have a feeling that he’s just not that into me. He was a little indifferent. And, at one point he told me I looked different than the last time we met and I’m not sure if he meant that in a good way, a bad way, or just making conversation. I shouldn’t read into these things, but the truth is, I did look different. When we met the first time it was really hot out and I looked like I was just kickin’ it, not going on a date. I also darkened my hair for the winter.
There was no touching at all and when he walked me back to my car (we met there) he hugged me and didn’t even try to kiss me. I offered him a ride to his car since it was raining out and he declined. It was 2AM and you’d think that he’d text me or call me to make sure I got home OK, but that didn’t happen either.
While I’m open to exploring dating opportunities with him, I’m not sure I’m feeling it, either. I know there are things in a relationship that are more important than sexual chemistry, but I’m finding that even with men who would make suitable boyfriends, if the lust factor isn’t there, I’m losing interest really fast. I almost feel broken, like I can’t have those feelings. I used to have those feelings quite easily and now it’s . . . different.
Maybe I’m simply secure and happy with the way things are and don’t want to change it unless the guy is very special, biologically so as well. Or, maybe my subconscious is avoiding the hurt that came with The Ex who I lusted after for my entire adult life, up until the day I was finally ready to end it with him. I’d like to find someone I lust after, who is also a good person, a great partner, and an awesome friend. I’m not sure that someone like that exists and even when my head says, “this guy is great!” my heart and my loins just aren’t into it.