It’s weird . . . I don’t miss the Ex, I don’t miss that house or the neighborhood it’s in, I don’t really miss the kids (though sometimes I guess I do), I don’t miss the lifestyle we lead and I know that leaving was the smartest thing I could do for myself, my sanity and my health. So, why do I find myself feeling down about . . . well, I don’t really know what? When I think about him, I have no desire to be with him. I have no desire to live like that again.
My friends say I miss the life I thought I was going to have (the rest of my life with one person), the dreams and hopes (it will get better!), the family (his kids and parents, who were family) and of course, there is the fact that for my entire adult life he was The One. What happens when The One That Got Away comes back and you end up throwing him out? And Mr. Perfect is far from it? Well, I guess you start over again.
In my sadness, in finding ways to cope with the loss, I’ve read several times that writing a list of things you don’t like about your ex, or reasons you left him, is healing, especially if you refer to it each time you find yourself missing him. I have the feeling the following list will not be conclusive, but it’s a start. Some of it might be petty, but this is therapy, so anything goes!
- The way he usually dresses is so bad, it’s a turn-off
- He only shaves once a week, and thinks it’s funny to rub his stubble on my sensitive skin
- He often doesn’t shower or change his socks and underwear on the weekends
- He looked way better with hair
- He snores and grinds his teeth in his sleep, and won’t do anything about it
- He watches far too much television
- He’s super loud to the point of hurting my ears
- The way he eats is disgusting
- He’s lazy
- He can’t say anything nice about anyone, not even his own children
- He’s rude to the point of embarrassing
- He likes to be rough and is a bully
- He’s a liar
- He’s a cheater
- He has no empathy
- He wears muscle-shirts when he works in the yard (and looks like a redneck!)
- He makes horrendous noises when he brushes his teeth
- He is judgemental and points out flaws in most strangers (fat, ugly, trashy, big nose, you name it he talks about it)
- He talks about the guys on his favorite radio show like they are his best friends
- Speaking of friends, he doesn’t have any
- His own family doesn’t like him
- My family didn’t like him
- He always insisted I drive then yelled at me for the way I drove
- He had no respect for my career
- He spits loogies all the time
To be continued . . .